a home for my thoughts

that this will become a place where i can talk and blog my feelings in public.

i am too scared to do so on myspace. livejournal makes me feel safe so maybe i can be bold and daring. actually writing what i feel and mean.

who knows?

maybe i will just forget about it again and keep everything all bottled up inside...

OMG! I found my old livejournal! Anyone who knows me (Emily) this message is for you to add me as a new livejournal buddy!

I haven't updated in a very long time so since I don't really have anything important to talk about I thought I would share a few of my poems with you guys.

My heart makes me wait for you, for my heart knows the truth behind the lies. It can see through my protective layer and sees how I really feel about you. The love I have for you is surpassed by no others false passion. For the passion I feel is true. The passion I feel is because of how I long to be with you. My love, I will wait for you till the end of time.

I'll be waiting, always just waiting, until the day you notice I'm there. I'll stay silent and cradle my heart until you are ready to own it. I am but a shadow to you, just anouther person passing you by. What you do not see is the desire I have for your love, your attention. The feel of me in your arms and kiss full of love and devotion that I long for. The smile that brightens up my day and voice that makes my heart stop. I long to hear you say I love you, but until then there is silence and just me walking past you in the hall. My heart can't wait much longer, but i guess it will have to.

Well, I hope you like them. That was me opening up to you guys. I usually keep my poems secret, but I have decided to show a little piece of my heart to the world. Oh, and for those of you who think I wrote these for or about a particular person you would be wrong. I do feel these emotions but not for any one in particular. I know this is confusing, but remember this is from my heart. I am a complicated person and though I seem happy all the time I would like to let you know that things aren't always as they seem. I hope this entry gets you all thinking.

I know that I have not written in my journal for a REALLY long time! I am sorry! I have been very busy with other things so I thought I should apoligize. Alot of things have happened in the past however many days. I had a GREAT weekend in which I hung out with Ingrid.(I LOVE YOU INESTIA!!!! LOL) We went to see Van Helsing on Friday which I think was pretty good. Ingrid and I decided that she will have Van Helsing as her man And I would get Dracula.(Bluh, Bluh!!! LOL) During the movie Ingrid and I made TOTAL fools out of our selves. We danced, made weird hand motions and sound effects, screamed(Oh yeah and Ingrid hit me in the face when she screamed!!!! LOL), and even laughed at the most inappropriate parts of the movie. I mean for crying out loud we laughed when characters(even good guys) died! We were wailing and moving around like Dracula's THREE(PIMP!!!! But of course I am always Number one on his list because they are just his brides where as I am his ONE AND ONLY SOUL MATE!!!!! LOL!!!!! J/K!!!!! OR AM I?)brides, which by the way are vampires. Oh and if you still plan on seeing the movie I promise I have not and will not spoil it for you. Hey I feel like I should tell you what I said to Ingrid to stop her from bragging about the fact that she got the man who has no other women(besides Ingrid of course) and is the good guy(Van Helsing)! What I said to her was, "At least my man is immortal." She said, "So?" Then I said, "Just think about the difference in their life spans!" She said, " SO?????" Then I said, "You only get to have sex with your pathetic, mortal man for MAYBE...... fifty years, but I get to have sex with my sexy, evil, violent, but caring man for ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!!! MUAH HA HA HA!!!!!" Then she said, "Oh......" HA HA HA GO ME!!!! LMAO J/K!!!! Wow the power of me! The world LOVES ME!!!!!!(well at least Dracula does!!!!) (I guess being Dracula's SOUL MATE (being that he is evil, PURE EVIL!!) makes it hard for me to be Jesus!!!(INSIDE JOKE)) I am not really one of those girls who talk about guys alot or go wild over celebrities but I figured why not enjoy myself. If you know me, you know that even when people are talking about hot guys I usually don't say anything, but it is not because I am confused about my sexuality, because I am straight and I know it, but I just feel that not every one I talk to should know my opinion of guys, plus I don't want to be remembered for a guy, whether it be a celebrity or not, that I think is attractive. Well back to my GREAT weekend. Ingrid and I the next day (Saturday) went shopping and..... and............. I wore a......................................SKIRT!!!!!!! I never wear skirts!!!!!!!! Ingrid has made quite an impact on me!!!! We bought clothes that I am to CHICKEN to wear to school and had a FANTASTIC time!!!!! I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH INGRID!!!!! She makes me unafraid to be myself!!!!! She is definitely some one I would call a TRUE friend!!!! We found out that we have so much in common!!!!! We both said at the same time,"WHY DIDN'T WE MEET SOONER?????" I wished the weekend could have lasted longer but it unfortunately didn't. Oh well that is life. All good things have to come to an end.

Finally figured out how to get a user picture. I am so proud of my self. It is a pirate because not only do I love pirates I am one. I'll swashbuckle any landlubber me see ye survy dogs(quoted from one of my shirts). lol. I am still in my pajamas. Hey you know what is ironic? the pajamas that I am wearing are my pirate pajamas. lmao. They say kiss me I'm a pirate. rofl. Wow that is great! Well I'll catch ye landlubbers later!

    >I would just like to first off thank my friend bsrich for introducing me to livejournal.com. I hope to be able to express my thoughts with out any one criticizing me for what I think. One of the main reasons I joined live journal is to have my thoughts out there so i don't mind if you comment (as a matter of fact please do). I want to say hello to all of my friends so HELLO!!!!! I will have fun writing and I hope you enjoy my journal entries too. One thing I want to apoligize for in advance is my inside jokes with my friends. Some of the things that I will write are going to be inside jokes so if you don't understand it don't worry your self over it. Well I love you always!